What feels like love? I read this question for the first time in Susan Hyatt’s book, Bare, and it was a guiding light for me. Or shall I say it was a light saber hitting me over the head, knocking common sense into me that was always alive in my deepest wisdom. It had been blocked by what I thought I should do to be a good and kind girl. I was a yes girl to the core and I said yes at the expense of authentically showing up. Never in this wild and wonderful world did I ever think possible that my path could be made clear by this radical question. You see, it’s nearly impossible to wiggle out of. It’s truth flying to you with a very pointed arrow. The trick is to hear the true answer and act on it. As you play with the question, it gets easier and easier to feel the answer to your very core.
Go for a walk or play a game with my kids….what feels like love?
Pick up my spouse’s dirty socks from his side of the bed or ignore them and get back to my writing desk….what feels like love?
Eat a bagel with melted butter oozing down the sides or oatmeal with fruit…what feels like love?
Get up extra early and do yoga or stay in bed when my little one is snuggling up close…what feels like love?
One could read the above and pick what they should do or think what would Jesus or Buddha pick..but that’s not how it works. You see, when you begin to recognize the feeling of love in your body, you realize that love can not lie. You feel it in the form of a tingle, a "gut" feeling or your whole body will just relax and no tension will be felt. Love will begin to set boundaries for you and it will begin to guide you more and more effortlessly.
If you want to really change your world and your loved one’s world, you must answer this question for yourself. Don’t answer for the other moms who think you should handle your kids differently, don’t answer for your mother-in-law who thinks you shouldn’t have a messy house or don’t answer for your boss who would work you until midnight if she could. Be still and let the answer come. And when it comes, don’t let your inner critic take hold of the conversation. Go with the first feeling and impulse..and act quickly. For once you hear the inner critic telling you this or that, your clarity begins to quickly diminish.
The answer is always changing which also keeps you in the present moment. Check in with your heart to see what feels the absolute best at this moment. It’s the surest way to living a life of integrity. It’s the surest way to reach your goals. These little answers add up to a life of direction and purpose.
You must surrender and trust this process and trust that God, Universe, The Force or whatever you want to call your Divinity will help guide you. My kids often ask how I hear God and I always answer in my body. My head is a scary and confusing place at times but my body never lies. God is in my every cell and divine messages come directly through when my mind and inner critic stand aside.
Next time you are sitting in front of the fridge deciding what to eat or you are sitting in front of your spouse who you are about to have words with….you get to choose how you act. What feels like love? The answer may come that you don’t want to hear, but lean in and let love ring true…then ACT! Trust your answers. Trust yourself. Trust your Divinity.